Forget the Things We Should
by greengirl16
Summary: Diana can't remember the last 19 years of her life... Not even her son, who has haunted her for so many years...


**Hello! I decided to post a new story in this category because I saw the musical yesterday and it was phenomenal! I had the entire original cast xD Even Aaron ^_^ I got J. Robert Spencer's, Aaron's, Adam's, and Alice's autograph afterwards :D If it's possible I am more obsessed with the musical than I was before... :P Haha. I know that Gabe is supposed to be hated and the antagonistic character, but I couldn't hate him. I actually found myself rooting for him at many points. Like I wanted Diana to see him again and I was so happy at I'm Alive reprise it was ridiculous I was like 'yes! Go Gabe! Take that Dan!' :P I have nothing against J. Robert Spencer, he's so sweet he took a picture with me :P But how can you not root for Aaron...sorry I am rambling... :P Anyways on to the story.**

**A/N: Sorry I couldn't think of a better title. If you have any suggestions for another title leave it in a review or pm me. I might just repost this under it :D Also sorry if there are any grammar or spelling issues...I spell check and read it over, but mistakes slip through the cracks sometimes.**

**An Aaron Tveit picture for reviewers :)**

**Disclaimer: Unfortunately I don't own Next to Normal**

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One light shone in the kitchen of the Goodman's house. Everyone was in their bedrooms except Diana, who was staring blankly ahead. Her husband had just gone to bed and probably expected her to follow him, but she didn't care. She didn't even remember marrying him.

She looked at the boxes that still sat on the table. All those years and they only had one box of photos…Diana tried to remember anything, but she was still clueless.

"_I think your missing some things, dad." Natalie muttered._

"_The doctor said to take it slow."_

_Natalie threw back her chair frustrated with her dad and stormed off._

Diana knew something was missing. She felt it pulling at her. She had told Dan, but he had dismissed it and had gone to bed.

She pulled some pictures out of the box, looking at all the memories she didn't remember.

Somebody came running into the kitchen, looked stressed.

"Oh sorry Mrs. Goodman." A young boy said almost running her over.

"Henry right?" Diana said, pulling a familiar name out of her foggy memory.

He nodded. "I am sorry I am here so late, but Natalie needed help with something. I promise I won't stay long. Do you know where she is?"

There was an awkward silence. Henry felt Diana's eyes staring intently at him

"I think she's in her bedroom."

Henry nodded his thanks and headed towards the stairs that led to Natalie's room.

"How old are you?"

Henry heard the faint question behind him. He let it linger a while before responding, "Seventeen…why?" Diana was again staring at him.

"You remind me of someone." Diana replied, but her mind seemed to be somewhere else. Henry used this moment to escape up to Natalie's room.

Diana hated the feeling. She wanted to remember everything so terribly. She wanted to know why she was hurting. What was causing this? It's like how a child wants to know their presents on Christmas, except she wanted to know her entire previous life and there wasn't a specific day she could count down to that everything would magically come back. She had to trust a man that she barely knew, but married eighteen years ago. She threw her head onto the table in frustration and started to weep.

The next morning she visited her Doctor…. What was his last name? She didn't remember.

"Diana," He greeted her a little bit too cheery, "How are you feeling?"

"Doctor, it's been four week since I have had my treatment and I still can't remember a thing!" She said a bit angrily. "I feel something is missing I just wish it would show."

Dr. Madden cut off the angry, frustrated Diana. "Are you talking with your husband?"

Diana shrugged, "He doesn't have much to say."

"Is he helping you remember?"

"I remember that's his way."

"Is the puzzle coming together, piece by piece?"

"No! I don't know where any of the damn pieces go! I don't know where I started, so I won't know when it's done."

"Have you both talked about your depression, your delusions or your son?"

Diana froze. "My what?"

Doctor Madden looked a bit uncomfortable. "I think you need to talk with you husband more."

"My husband?!" Diana yelled exasperated, "I don't even remember marrying the man!"

"Just talk to him." He then left Diana in his office, shutting the door behind him.

Diana went home and found a small box lying in the middle of the floor. She went over to it and pulled out a dusty photo album. She opened the faded pages and looked at the pictures of a baby boy. She closed it gently and set in beside her. She pulled out a baby blanket and beneath it was a wooden music box. She carefully opened it. A sweet tune filled the room. She closed her eyes and faintly heard someone humming along to the tune, even though she knew no one else was in the room with her. She clutched the music box to her chest as memories of her son came rushing back to her.

A voice interrupted her. "Diana? What are you doing?" Dan sounded a bit irritated.

"We had a son?"

Her question was answered by silence.

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"Diana where did you get that?"

"You gave it to me…remember? The first time I was pregnant."

"The first time?"

"We were still living downtown…"

"Diana don't."

"I quickly threw by black jacket over my nightgown and we jumped into the car. You sped down the road and the lights of the city blurred as we drove past."

"Please Diana." Dan pleaded.

"How could I ever forget? It was a cold damp morning. He had the chills and he wasn't moving…..just eighteen months old… We ran him into the hospital, confused and worried. How could I have forgotten screaming at the doctors? They said we had to wait, but they never told us we were too late…but I was a child, raising a child."

"Diana, that was so many years ago. There was so much we didn't know!"

"Those weeks of joy and then a moment of dread someone simply said you child is…" Diana couldn't say it. It hurt too much. She clutched the music box tighter against her.

"Diana, why would you want to remember the things that hurt you?"

"I want to remember everything Dan. How did he die? Why? What happened?"

"We didn't know, Diana. He was sick. We took him to specialists, the emergency room. They said he had food allergies and that babies cry. We stayed up every single night and you slept in his room, but he wouldn't stop crying."

"Then one morning he stopped."

"That's enough." Dan said sternly.

"He died when he was a baby, but I remember him older…" Diana thought out loud.

Dan went pale. "I think we should call Dr. Madden."

"No. I want to figure this out… god I cannot remember his name! What was his name?"

"It's going to be okay Diana. We'll go back to the Doctor get more pills maybe more ECT…"

"What was his name?!" Diana pleaded.

Dan tried to grab the music box off her.

"What was his name?!" Diana shouted again.

Dan lunged for the music box, prying it out of her hands and threw it against the wall, smashing it into pieces.

Diana looked appalled.

Natalie entered the room just in time to watch her dad throw her brother's music box against the wall. "DAD!" She shouted and then left the room. She didn't like how her mother saw her brother, but she hated how her father was being so malicious about him. Her father was a generally nice person and her brother brought out this evil, dark side of him she hated. He was trying to take her mother's son away from her. Dead or not, he was her life and she could see him. Natalie just put up with her shit now.

Gabe watched unseen in the shadows as his mother had discovered the box of his things he had set out. He felt he was getting somewhere. His mother remembered him, but she still couldn't see him. He even thought she had heard him as he hummed the tune of the music box she had played for him so many years ago. His father had smashed it into pieces. Gabe winced as he watched his favorite item break into pieces. He glared at his father. His mother was in shock, but that quickly changed to rage and she started to question why she even bothered staying with Dan. Gabe wondered why she stuck around too. He had been attempting to convince her to leave before she had gotten the ECT treatment. Then she had forgotten him and he had to start all over at square one again. He watched sitting on the stairs as his father retorted with bullshit about his promise he had made to her.

Diana was enraged at Dan, for not allowing her to grieve her son. He went to grab onto her shoulders, but she pushed him away and spun around facing the wall and the staircase. Then she saw something. There was a faint outline of a person sitting on the stairs. The image became stronger and more solid as she continued to stare. She pointed, too astonished to speak. Dan stared at where she was pointing. She started muttering an almost incoherent "There."

Dan's face was red and he was fuming now. He shouted, "THERE'S NOTHING THERE!" He was too late, though. Diana was already smiling at the staircase, but then she backed up, "Oh no." She ran. "Natalie!" She called out.

"DAMN IT!" Dan shouted and ran after her, but stopped as she fled up the stairs.

Gabe saw his mother look at him. At first, he dismissed the hope inside him that she could see him, but then she pointed directly at him. He knew that she saw him and he smiled with joy. His father turned red with rage. Gabe had won. He smiled and waved at his mother and she almost smiled back, but then she fled. Gabe followed her upstairs, determined to win her over.

Natalie heard her mother scream her name, followed by her father screaming. Something was wrong. "Damn it." She looked at Henry in an apologetic way, "I can't go the dance. I have to drive my mom the doctor."

"I'll help." Henry chased Natalie down the stairs.

"YOU CAN'T!" Natalie shouted, frustrated at her mom's bad timing, ability to screw everything up, and Henry's determination to help her deal with her fucked up family. "Just GO!" Natalie had half way opened the door and was ready to slam it in Henry's face, but stopped. "Look I'll try to come later, alright?"

"I'll wait for you there." He then followed her out the door and watched her go.

Natalie heard her father shout her name from the driveway, but proceeded to get into the car. She looked up at her bedroom window and for a slit second she thought she saw a young triumphant looking face staring at her, but when she blinked, he was gone. She then backed out of the driveway and sped away with her mother in the passenger's seat.

Gabe watched them leave, looking triumphant. His mother had seen him! No matter what his family did to her he'd always win. They had even electrocuted her with one hundred watts of electricity and she had forgotten everything, but he won! He defied every law of the universe. He was alive, yet dead. He smiled and then left the window and disappeared.

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